Before we begin, I must draw your attention to the pimp in the picture on the left. Note the long hair and lack of a receding hairline. When you see me now, let that be exhibit A of what happens to you when reality rapes you.Anyway...
A while back, my friend Jesse asked me to summarize my high school experience (for some reason I've forgotten in the meantime). I was perusing some of the old shit I still had copies of in my "Personal Files" folder and ran across it. I don't really know why I kept what I wrote to him, but after reading it again, I think it was because it put my entire life up until that point in perspective and helped me get it all off my chest and filed away into the memory banks once and for all.
Since I'm a pretty open book type of person, I thought I'd update it, tweak it a bit, and publish it on here. It may help you in the same way it helped me.
I guess I'll start with an overview of my experience, then work my way up from there. When high school first began, my social standing didn't change much from the one I had the prior nine years of school. I was still very much an outsider with a handful of friends (not many being female). We really only had three major cliques at our schools: us, the popular kids, and the hillbilly rednecks who liked to cause trouble. Accordingly, I didn't like the popular people very much - there isn't much use in trying to like someone who has a sunburn under their nose from looking down at you and everyone else that isn't up to their standards. More than that, I actually enjoyed where I stood in the whole scheme of things; for further information, see the Green Day song "Minority" (it sums up my feelings nicely). And of course, I didn't like the hillbilly rednecks, but who ever does?
After a while, though, I discovered that the high school clique system worked in a weird way: there were certain instances in which groups crossed over one another. This was a new thing to me, because it never really happened in junior high as far as I could tell. Later, I discovered that the clique system dissolves completely when you get to college, and how you interact with others determines your social standing there. But, where do you learn how to interact with others? High school. You know what I learned after the first few quarters of being there? I was actually one of those crossover students! I was allowed to intermingle with other people!
As such, time wore on and I gained a few more friends. But, as before, our new crossover group wasn't big enough not to be considered on the fringe of our small society. Being able to work on my social interaction now that I could network with more people, though, led to many drastic developments I'd never experienced before. I got to date my first real girlfriend (Marybeth doesn't really count), which lasted from our Sophomore year until a week after we graduated - let me tell you right now that it is a mistake to be exclusive for that long during your formative years (that complaint/advice is for a separate discussion, though). Being able to have a girlfriend really helps you gain your share of female friends, and I can safely say that I could talk to and relate to more of them than to most of my male friends - I was the only one of my male friends who didn't play paintball, Dungeons & Dragons, or collectable card games.
Still, I don't know how I would've survived my adolescence if it weren't for my male friends. Though we didn't really pay attention to it at the time, we were all different (but the same, of course) in so many ways that the crossover clique system worked on us without us even knowing it.
Austin was a pyromaniac who was as withdrawn from the world as you can get while still having friends - he was perfectly content in his own world of horror/fantasy books, video games, and music. I guess both of us just had the dumb luck of having similar interests, because, despite his misanthropic tendencies, we were practically inseparable for most of middle and high schools... goddamn, did we blow up and incinerate A LOT of crap... good times. We haven't spoken in quite a while, so I guess it's just one of those things that they tell you happens after school ends.
Derrick was the artist of the group, always drawing some messed up looking thing or another. He also played the CCG's, D&D, paintball, and computer games that I didn't - that didn't stop us from being friends from the time we were still wetting the bed, and we're still best friends to this day. This may be a weird memory to hold on to, but Derrick will always have the distinction of being the first person to give me a burned music CD. We also took the SAT test together in 7th grade because we were smart little buggers. Little, insignificant things like that can make just as strong a connection between two people as having similar interests can, and it's those things that I think have kept us connected to this day. Bromance! *hugs and kisses and gayness*
Will and Brandon were inseparable, but also very disparate. Will, always sleepy, always participating in our events silently, but usually the one who provided the transportation to and from the shindigs. Brandon, the military freak, always going on and on about the size of his man-part and where he was going to put it that night. Man, that freak had too much energy... if we could've bottled it, we could've all retired then and there (Red Bull be damned)... maybe that's why he was Silent Will's version of Jay Mewes, because I'd never seen a guy sleep - and look as such - as much as Will did.
Aaron and I didn't always click while we were in school, but we're cool now. Nevertheless, we had a lot of interaction during that time, and I'd still classify it as friendship. Band dork, asshole, the guy who'd sign your yearbook "Damn it, it's cold out here, see you later or something." He played his share of all that CCG, D&D, Diablo stuff, too. And let's not get started on his taste in music... he may have introduced me to Dax Riggs, but that's the extent of it. How two people go from that to best friends back to that back to best friends goes to show you that fate's a messed-up little monkey. I should talk to a professional about it.
Matt. You know him. He's the other asshole that writes for this pit. We actually met rather harshly: he'd just moved from Michigan, which he automatically assumed made him a bit above us hillbillies. He was also a "real" wrestler, so, when he found out about my love of pro wrestling, he took it upon himself to taunt me about it. That's when, two seconds later, he was locked in a Crippler Crossface (Chris Benoit's submission finishing move) on Mr. Fuller's floor. He tapped out. A few of my other friends wanted to kick his ass, so we were going to throw down in my front yard. It ended up being my friend Heath, who got his ass beat. The cops were called, and my mother wrangled us all into the house, including Matt. She bought some candy bars off of him (to support the baseball team). After that, we were all best buds. It was refreshing to get to know Matt, because it's important to have people around you to connect with intellectually. That's why he's my Robin (or Kato, to pick a slightly less gay sidekick).
Kobie's been with me since, literally, the day we were born (he's a day older than me, give or take a few hours). He was a preemie, and, yes, we may have taken advantage of his speech impediment a lot (and I mean, A LOT... ask him to say "fork" if you see him), but we loved him to death. He'd always be the drama king of any event we had, but our love mixed with his entertainment value always assured him a spot at our Round Table.
Which leads to Ben, who was usually the ringmaster of our hanging-out circuses. He had the facilities, the games, the movies, the internet, and, in general, the fun. Always agreeable, always cordial, always nice... damn, he makes me sick. But I love him with all of my rotten, black little heart. After all, no one else let me crash at their house for a week at a time because I had nothing else better to do. That's a pal if I ever heard of one.
And, of course, I can't leave out the girlfriend. Amanda... it's a hard thing to write about your high school sweetheart turned ex-girlfriend turned - for some reason or another that I'm oblivious to - mortal enemy and be nice about it, but there are too many good things about our relationship that I just can't ignore because it would be unfair to her and myself. She was my first girlfriend. My first kiss (if you count a kiss as a kiss tempered with emotional attachment). My first, really, in every way that mattered in the world of boyfriends and girlfriends and love and all that fluffy bull piss. I loved everything about that girl: the way she smelled (Calgon Morning Glory, which I still use as an air freshener because I like it so much), the way she tasted, the way she looked at me... the way the eyes told you that there was no other place she'd rather be, and no other person she'd rather have her eyes on. Her long, brown hair. The way she fit into my tyrannosaurus arms.
Man, writing about it, I can almost feel her right now... I guess a part of me will always hold on to her like that. You never really get over the first person to look at you like Amanda looked at me then, so don't let anyone ever lie to you and tell you that they're "over" their first true love. They're not, and they never will be. I won't be. And, reaching the stage of acceptance at the loss of her that I have, I don't really want to be, either. That's a part of everyone's life that they can't erase no matter how much they want to. I may have fallen in love with two other girls toward the end of our relationship, and have been in love with other people since then, but that doesn't change the fact that she was the first.
As far as I know (since we never discussed it), her love switch must've just clicked off... one week we were making our plans for the future, and the next week she was leaving me for the aforementioned Brandon the day before my graduation party. After that, she left him for my cousin, assmunch-extraordinaire Jaret... they later married. Now, for some reason, they feel the need to treat me like an enemy, like I've done something wrong.
Maybe I have... maybe I did do something to her way back then (maybe she could tell I'd fallen in love with Chasity and Cindie). I'll probably never know, because she can't act like a civil human being and just tell me. I'll probably always wonder what it is that happened, but I'm not going to sweat it. I just had a similar, but much less meaningful, thing happen to me with a girl named Megan. Fuck it. After all, why worry about anyone else's misgivings, feelings, and opinions when they won't relate them to you? I'm not a psychic, and don't want to be.
Wow, I'm sorry I took up so much space talking about that subject. But, when you're talking about your friends from high school, the one you were closest to is the one you're going to discuss the most. And, of course, your closest friend was (should've been, anyway) your girlfriend.
That's all of the friend reflections. If I left anyone out, it's because there's so many of you bastards. I'll get to you all when I accept my Oscar, nig-nogs.
Back to the high school overview thing I severely deviated from in the first place...
As much as I disliked everyone aside from my friends, I still remained a nice person. I figured that if I treated everyone like they were an individual instead as part of a whole, they'd realize that is the right way to act. Sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn't, but the high school environment never became unpleasant because I never did. I think that's a big part of it for most people: the ones who complain about high school being a pain in the ass probably made it that way for themselves by acting like a pain in the ass. See what I mean?
I guess what I'm trying to say is: high school is what you make of it. It all relies on who you keep close and how you react to others. Like I said above, if you act like an asshole, you'll be treated like an asshole. Yes, even if you don't act like one you still may be treated like one, but that's the other person's problem and not yours. I believe that, no matter what side of the high school fence you were on, once you get out in the real world and see the horrors that lie ahead, there'll be times you wish you were back in the science lab shooting spitwads at your dorky Biology teacher - he shouldn't have been wearing that goofy pink shirt, I tells ya!
Since I'm a pretty open book type of person, I thought I'd update it, tweak it a bit, and publish it on here. It may help you in the same way it helped me.
I guess I'll start with an overview of my experience, then work my way up from there. When high school first began, my social standing didn't change much from the one I had the prior nine years of school. I was still very much an outsider with a handful of friends (not many being female). We really only had three major cliques at our schools: us, the popular kids, and the hillbilly rednecks who liked to cause trouble. Accordingly, I didn't like the popular people very much - there isn't much use in trying to like someone who has a sunburn under their nose from looking down at you and everyone else that isn't up to their standards. More than that, I actually enjoyed where I stood in the whole scheme of things; for further information, see the Green Day song "Minority" (it sums up my feelings nicely). And of course, I didn't like the hillbilly rednecks, but who ever does?
After a while, though, I discovered that the high school clique system worked in a weird way: there were certain instances in which groups crossed over one another. This was a new thing to me, because it never really happened in junior high as far as I could tell. Later, I discovered that the clique system dissolves completely when you get to college, and how you interact with others determines your social standing there. But, where do you learn how to interact with others? High school. You know what I learned after the first few quarters of being there? I was actually one of those crossover students! I was allowed to intermingle with other people!
As such, time wore on and I gained a few more friends. But, as before, our new crossover group wasn't big enough not to be considered on the fringe of our small society. Being able to work on my social interaction now that I could network with more people, though, led to many drastic developments I'd never experienced before. I got to date my first real girlfriend (Marybeth doesn't really count), which lasted from our Sophomore year until a week after we graduated - let me tell you right now that it is a mistake to be exclusive for that long during your formative years (that complaint/advice is for a separate discussion, though). Being able to have a girlfriend really helps you gain your share of female friends, and I can safely say that I could talk to and relate to more of them than to most of my male friends - I was the only one of my male friends who didn't play paintball, Dungeons & Dragons, or collectable card games.
Still, I don't know how I would've survived my adolescence if it weren't for my male friends. Though we didn't really pay attention to it at the time, we were all different (but the same, of course) in so many ways that the crossover clique system worked on us without us even knowing it.
Austin was a pyromaniac who was as withdrawn from the world as you can get while still having friends - he was perfectly content in his own world of horror/fantasy books, video games, and music. I guess both of us just had the dumb luck of having similar interests, because, despite his misanthropic tendencies, we were practically inseparable for most of middle and high schools... goddamn, did we blow up and incinerate A LOT of crap... good times. We haven't spoken in quite a while, so I guess it's just one of those things that they tell you happens after school ends.
Derrick was the artist of the group, always drawing some messed up looking thing or another. He also played the CCG's, D&D, paintball, and computer games that I didn't - that didn't stop us from being friends from the time we were still wetting the bed, and we're still best friends to this day. This may be a weird memory to hold on to, but Derrick will always have the distinction of being the first person to give me a burned music CD. We also took the SAT test together in 7th grade because we were smart little buggers. Little, insignificant things like that can make just as strong a connection between two people as having similar interests can, and it's those things that I think have kept us connected to this day. Bromance! *hugs and kisses and gayness*
Will and Brandon were inseparable, but also very disparate. Will, always sleepy, always participating in our events silently, but usually the one who provided the transportation to and from the shindigs. Brandon, the military freak, always going on and on about the size of his man-part and where he was going to put it that night. Man, that freak had too much energy... if we could've bottled it, we could've all retired then and there (Red Bull be damned)... maybe that's why he was Silent Will's version of Jay Mewes, because I'd never seen a guy sleep - and look as such - as much as Will did.
Aaron and I didn't always click while we were in school, but we're cool now. Nevertheless, we had a lot of interaction during that time, and I'd still classify it as friendship. Band dork, asshole, the guy who'd sign your yearbook "Damn it, it's cold out here, see you later or something." He played his share of all that CCG, D&D, Diablo stuff, too. And let's not get started on his taste in music... he may have introduced me to Dax Riggs, but that's the extent of it. How two people go from that to best friends back to that back to best friends goes to show you that fate's a messed-up little monkey. I should talk to a professional about it.
Matt. You know him. He's the other asshole that writes for this pit. We actually met rather harshly: he'd just moved from Michigan, which he automatically assumed made him a bit above us hillbillies. He was also a "real" wrestler, so, when he found out about my love of pro wrestling, he took it upon himself to taunt me about it. That's when, two seconds later, he was locked in a Crippler Crossface (Chris Benoit's submission finishing move) on Mr. Fuller's floor. He tapped out. A few of my other friends wanted to kick his ass, so we were going to throw down in my front yard. It ended up being my friend Heath, who got his ass beat. The cops were called, and my mother wrangled us all into the house, including Matt. She bought some candy bars off of him (to support the baseball team). After that, we were all best buds. It was refreshing to get to know Matt, because it's important to have people around you to connect with intellectually. That's why he's my Robin (or Kato, to pick a slightly less gay sidekick).
Kobie's been with me since, literally, the day we were born (he's a day older than me, give or take a few hours). He was a preemie, and, yes, we may have taken advantage of his speech impediment a lot (and I mean, A LOT... ask him to say "fork" if you see him), but we loved him to death. He'd always be the drama king of any event we had, but our love mixed with his entertainment value always assured him a spot at our Round Table.
Which leads to Ben, who was usually the ringmaster of our hanging-out circuses. He had the facilities, the games, the movies, the internet, and, in general, the fun. Always agreeable, always cordial, always nice... damn, he makes me sick. But I love him with all of my rotten, black little heart. After all, no one else let me crash at their house for a week at a time because I had nothing else better to do. That's a pal if I ever heard of one.
And, of course, I can't leave out the girlfriend. Amanda... it's a hard thing to write about your high school sweetheart turned ex-girlfriend turned - for some reason or another that I'm oblivious to - mortal enemy and be nice about it, but there are too many good things about our relationship that I just can't ignore because it would be unfair to her and myself. She was my first girlfriend. My first kiss (if you count a kiss as a kiss tempered with emotional attachment). My first, really, in every way that mattered in the world of boyfriends and girlfriends and love and all that fluffy bull piss. I loved everything about that girl: the way she smelled (Calgon Morning Glory, which I still use as an air freshener because I like it so much), the way she tasted, the way she looked at me... the way the eyes told you that there was no other place she'd rather be, and no other person she'd rather have her eyes on. Her long, brown hair. The way she fit into my tyrannosaurus arms.
Man, writing about it, I can almost feel her right now... I guess a part of me will always hold on to her like that. You never really get over the first person to look at you like Amanda looked at me then, so don't let anyone ever lie to you and tell you that they're "over" their first true love. They're not, and they never will be. I won't be. And, reaching the stage of acceptance at the loss of her that I have, I don't really want to be, either. That's a part of everyone's life that they can't erase no matter how much they want to. I may have fallen in love with two other girls toward the end of our relationship, and have been in love with other people since then, but that doesn't change the fact that she was the first.
As far as I know (since we never discussed it), her love switch must've just clicked off... one week we were making our plans for the future, and the next week she was leaving me for the aforementioned Brandon the day before my graduation party. After that, she left him for my cousin, assmunch-extraordinaire Jaret... they later married. Now, for some reason, they feel the need to treat me like an enemy, like I've done something wrong.
Maybe I have... maybe I did do something to her way back then (maybe she could tell I'd fallen in love with Chasity and Cindie). I'll probably never know, because she can't act like a civil human being and just tell me. I'll probably always wonder what it is that happened, but I'm not going to sweat it. I just had a similar, but much less meaningful, thing happen to me with a girl named Megan. Fuck it. After all, why worry about anyone else's misgivings, feelings, and opinions when they won't relate them to you? I'm not a psychic, and don't want to be.
Wow, I'm sorry I took up so much space talking about that subject. But, when you're talking about your friends from high school, the one you were closest to is the one you're going to discuss the most. And, of course, your closest friend was (should've been, anyway) your girlfriend.
That's all of the friend reflections. If I left anyone out, it's because there's so many of you bastards. I'll get to you all when I accept my Oscar, nig-nogs.
Back to the high school overview thing I severely deviated from in the first place...
As much as I disliked everyone aside from my friends, I still remained a nice person. I figured that if I treated everyone like they were an individual instead as part of a whole, they'd realize that is the right way to act. Sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn't, but the high school environment never became unpleasant because I never did. I think that's a big part of it for most people: the ones who complain about high school being a pain in the ass probably made it that way for themselves by acting like a pain in the ass. See what I mean?
I guess what I'm trying to say is: high school is what you make of it. It all relies on who you keep close and how you react to others. Like I said above, if you act like an asshole, you'll be treated like an asshole. Yes, even if you don't act like one you still may be treated like one, but that's the other person's problem and not yours. I believe that, no matter what side of the high school fence you were on, once you get out in the real world and see the horrors that lie ahead, there'll be times you wish you were back in the science lab shooting spitwads at your dorky Biology teacher - he shouldn't have been wearing that goofy pink shirt, I tells ya!
2 comments:
alas for the days of yore my friend. That was a pretty good time of life for us all. I've been thinking about high school alot too. But you forgot a few people admittedly the article would have been considerably longer if you had included Hunter,John,Ryan and myself's neuroticisms. It is good to remember but not to dwell. Take care my friend.
Yeah, like I said, I could've gone on all day with all the cool-ass buds we hung out with. You know I've got mad love for ya, my Chrispy Jew of a friend. ;)
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