Want to get my goat? Say the following things to me...

It is a well-documented fact that people say some of the stupidest shit ever uttered. Here's a collection of words and phrases that really get my goat...

"Your reputation precedes you." - This is something that's gotten on my nerves for quite a while. Of course someone's reputation precedes them! That's the DEFINITION of reputation! If it didn't precede you, it'd just be new information that your new associate/enemy is finding out about you for the first time. This overused phrase is a way for some stupid assclown to say "I've heard of you, you're the guy that plays 'Red Rocket' with your neighbor's dogs."

"Natural flavors" - Why would a product become any more enticing to me as a customer just because it has "natural flavors" added? I'm sure, in the end, they mean stuff like "natural fruit flavors"; perhaps this is one of those cases where specificity would come in handy. Always remember: "shit", "piss", "vomit", and "busted genital herpes sore" are all natural flavors. I wouldn't want to be picking up a box of Fruit Loops with those "natural flavors"...

"Ice cold" or "As cold as ice" - I shouldn't even have to explain the idiocy of these two phrases. These phrases are almost always used when trying to describe how low the temperature of a drinkable liquid is. I understand the concept of different freezing points and such, but, for argument's sake, let's just agree that most liquids' freezing points don't differ that much from water's. So, if something is "ice cold" or "as cold as ice", IT'S FROZEN! Have fun getting any use out of your liquid when it's not even existing in the state of matter wherein its usefulness lies. Unless, of course, you're trying to make water balloons, in which case ice works wonders when coming into contact with your desired target.

"___'s heart was in the right place" - This is something that is usually said when somebody tries to do something nice and screws it up. If anything needs to be said at all about someone's failed courtesy, it needs to be "Their brain was in the right place." But since they failed, I guess the proper phrase would be "Their brain was in the wrong place." Any way you look at it, all of these phrases should just be scrapped for the much more simple and straightforward "Nice try, but you fucked up."

"The best, most effective..." - You usually hear this said in accordance with the word "way", such as "The best, most effective way to prolong your life is to not piss off the U.S. President." The saying is a redundancy - if something is the most effective, it's automatically the best. Cut one. "Most effective" sounds pretty. But it's your call, obviously.

Weather retards - I also hate it when people try to talk to me about the weather. Not the ones that ask me if I've seen the most recent weather report, but the ones who tell you what the weather is like, like you can't tell for yourself: "It's raining", "It's hot", "It's cold". But the people I hate the worst are the ones who put those sentences in the form of a question, like they're so brain-dead that they need you to confirm it for them: "It's hot, isn't it?". Well, I don't know, Billy Bob, but one thing that's for sure is that your deodorant certainly isn't working... you smell like an anchovy's vagina.