I may have just lost faith in originality for good...

I almost blew my stack when I heard of Zack Snyder's Dawn of the Dead remake, until I saw it and was blown away by my favorite new filmmaker. I abided a redo of Friday the 13th, even though Jason is my favorite horror icon. I can deal with a reboot of A Nightmare on Elm Street, mostly because of the casting of Jackie Earle Haley as Froderick.

But... but... this? They've finally, really done it! GODDAMN YOU! GODDAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!!

This first piece of unfortunate garbage is courtesy of Deadline:

Paramount Pictures is remaking the 1987 film The Monster Squad. Rob Cohen, who produced the original, hopes to direct the remake. Cohen will produce with Platinum Dunes partners Michael Bay, Brad Fuller and Andrew Form, and they’re meeting with writers.

A group of kids who worship the classic monsters suddenly discover that Dracula is in town, and he’s got his pals Frankenstein, The Wolf Man, The Gill Man and The Mummy with him. The kids must stop their efforts to find an amulet that will give the creatures control of the world. Sounds a bit cheesy, but the film is beloved by fanboys.

The script was written by Fred Dekker and Shane Black before Lethal Weapon made the latter Hollywood's highest paid writer of the 1990s. Cohen was one of the producers on that film and many others before he transitioned to the director's chair. The film is at Paramount after Platinum Dunes moved there last fall.

And this next, disturbing piece of tripe is courtesy of the LA Times blog (note the erroneous statement in the first sentence pertaining to "the fans")...

Fright Night has been a high-priority horror remake both for fans and studio DreamWorks since the studio began developing the project. Now DreamWorks appears to have found its man to direct it.

A sweepstakes that included at least three directors appears to be coming to a close, with Craig Gillespie the man who will likely sit behind the camera. Sources say that after the studio met with and contemplated a number of directors, the parties on Friday began entering negotiations for Gillespie to take the reins.

The director is most famous for the 2007 off-kilter romantic comedy Lars and the Real Girl (which was eerie in a whole different way). He also directed the wacky dysfunctional-family/romantic comedy Mr. Woodcock starring Billy Bob Thornton. Gillespie also has a relationship with DreamWorks principal Steven Spielberg via "The United States of Tara," the Showtime series that DreamWorks Television produced and on which Gillespie has served as director and producer.

Marti Noxon, a veteran of shows like "Buffy the Vampire Slayer," has been writing the screenplay for Fright Night, and producing powerhouse Michael De Luca is among the producers on the new film, along with Alison Rosenzweig. (Incidentally, Tom Holland, a journeyman horror writer and director, directed the first movie, which starred Chris Sarandon and Amanda Bearse.)

Leave my goddamn childhood alone, you fucking thieves! Go remake something that isn't a horror movie, for once! What about Steel Magnolias?! Oh, wait, that's a horror movie, too...